Last night I shared a story about a brief, but meaningful, friendship. One thing I realized after I shared that post, is that I gave my former friend too much “credit” for what caused me to get off track with my weight loss. While it was a big trigger for me, there is so much else.
Another thing I have failed to appreciate, while feeling down about gaining some weight, is that this whole past year has been hard and, still, nothing has stopped me. Even now, I was sidetracked, but not stopped!
Here is some of what my family has been through this past year:
Three months ago we lost our house and both of our cars broke down and had to be salvaged.
Above is the home we left. I truly loved living there and hosting many parties with friends and family. I had a place for everything and I loved how I had it decorated. I miss having an office to run my business and set goals.
We’d be homeless right now if it wasn’t for my mom letting me, my husband, our kids, our cats, and our 90 pound dog move in with her.
My husband works really hard, but with high rent and so many expenses we couldn’t keep up after I lost my job. Then my unemployment ran out, I got into a car accident where I was at fault and needed to pay a large sum of money, and debt piled on to the point where we were drowning.
The cars both broke down completely with in days of each other, the week we moved. To be honest with you, the reason they both broke down is because we weren’t taking care of them. Small issues came up, we couldn’t afford to fix them, and they became big issues. But my husband had to drive to work and I had to drive kids to school.
On top of everything else, the past four months my husband and I have nearly separated. I honestly thought we would get divorced. For months we slept apart and barely talked. That’s how bad it had gotten. Only recently have we been able to try and work together and show each other some appreciation.
In the past year I have done my best to keep it together through all of this, plus losing Odin, but sometimes the reality makes me feel like such a failure. That feeling of failure and guilt is what truly led me to binge eat and almost give up on myself and my journey many times.
However, despite it all, I continue to go back to reflecting on my why. I refuse to let myself forget what I really want for myself and my future. I do not want to be the same morbidly obese, depressed, unhealthy person I once was. I feel capable of being the best version of myself and no matter what comes my way, I will work passed it.
If stress and fear is keeping you from working towards your goals, I encourage you to make a dream board, journal your goals, or fill out the goal workbook I offer for free on the footer of this website. Your problems are temporary and being healthy and strong will only make them easier to manage.