I am on the road to binge eating recovery and I am so proud of the progress I am making. I’ve posted a lot of tips and information in this blog about binge eating. I research this to help others and in the process, help myself.
The past few weeks have been incredibly stressful for me. There has been too much to list, but I have been dealing with feelings of fear, stress, depression, and anxiety. Through all this I did turn to food and over eat multiple times.
The thing with binge eating is that it is not just that I have a hard time controlling myself and eating too much, although that is very much part of it.
It’s a very big mental battle and struggle too. The feeling of constantly thinking about food, overeating, not feeling skinny enough, being mad at myself for eating too much, thinking about when I will eat again, telling myself I am never eating again, struggling with should I even eat, can I eat, always feeling hungry, feeling fat, feeling like I need to lose weight, I don’t deserve to eat. Weighing myself everyday to see how much damage I caused by eating and figuring out how much I needed to stop eating to make up for it. All of those thoughts come into my head daily.
Binge eating is just not someone who eats too much and can not control it. From the outside you might not even realize someone is struggling. You probably wouldn’t be able to tell that I struggle with this. I always look happy, have a smile on my face, am told how amazing I am for losing so much weight, told I must feel so much better, how lucky I am to be at the weight I am at.
While my life has drastically changed for the better- what people don’t see, can’t see, is what’s going on inside my head. What I am feeling and thinking about. How much I was and still am struggling and sometimes feel like I am out of control.
Even though I still have a long way to go with full recovery from binge eating, I am so proud of myself for the progress I have made.